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Archive for September 2003 From: Kristofer Straub To: Showdown ELO Mailing-List Subject: Getting "A Little Wild" With ELO in 2003! LOL Hey ELOsters! (Or Lynnesters as the case may be.... because JEFF LYNNE IS ELO! EAT IT PART 2 FANS! lol) Anyway, now that Jeff is starting his own record label, my mind is ZOOMing with ideas for it! I already came up with some names I hope I can send to Jeff! Hey anyone got his e-mail address? LOL. "Here are my ideas:" LynneTunes Crazy Jeff Lynne's Fun Musical Productions Yours Truly, 2095 Hyperalbums Electric Light (and FUN) Orchestra Records Those Famous Sunglasses LLC Hoa boy, better watch that pert, shapely rearend, Britney!! The Lynnemeister is back, little one. And you'd best keep your "lame" beats and "boring" songs... OUTTA HERE! LOL. I'm kidding. My kids love Britneys Spears (more like, "$#!%ney Tears," LOL!) and I can't understand it. So of course when I'm in the spare bedroom I put on one of Master Jeff's albums and really "CRANK IT!" My wife always yells at me from the den, LOL. That woman has NO taste in music (Bob Seger?? I'm going to blow chunks and hurl! LOL) Anyway I really hope we see some good stuff from the man himself this year. I was thinking, it would be really cool if Jeff Lynne had given his career a boost by appearing on TV, like one of my favorite shows My Wife and Kids starring "Damin Wayans." Jeff could be his neighbor! Think of the possibilies. I wrote a couple spec scripts to submit to ABC (I'm so embarrased, but my great sense of humor and love for ELO will KEEP SHINING! LOL). Like check this out! DAMIN: Hey you are taking my newspaper. JEFF: I'm sorry, I'll put it back. (applause for Jeff's appearance) DAMIN: Hey aren't you that famous singer and songwriter for Electric Light Orchestra, Jeff Lynne? JEFF: You got it! (wild laughter as audience hears the song "You Got It" play in background!) DAMIN: Well how about an autograph? JEFF: (takes out a sock full of sunglasses and beard hairs and hits Damin) JEFF DON'T PLAY THAT!!!! LOL! The spirit of ELO is "shining strongly" here. A man can dream, can't he? ;) Anyway THANKS for reading my FIRST letter to the mailing list. ELO AND JEFF FOREVER!!! FORGET PART 2, THEY CAN "SUCK A BONE." HA HA HA, JUST KIDDING!! Thanks Sincerely, Kristofer Straub, part-time contractor Steve's Quality Automobile Tool and Die, Flagstaff, AZ Let me tell you all another sad story I suddenly remembered. It's the story of Mickey Rooney... and a Fun-Time Family. I must explain. When I was much younger, say about thirteen, or perhaps fifteen, I didn't do anything in the summers between school years besides play computer games and watch TV. What a magic time! On TV, sometimes after Andy Griffith, I would watch daytime trashy talk shows, like Sally Jessy Raphael, for example. On one particular show (I don't remember the topic), there were a bunch of very old celebrities, or maybe just old people. But among them was Mickey Rooney and what must have been his wife. They were discussing roles for older actors in Hollywood, or something, and Rooney just gets off on this tirade about how horrible it is for millions of elderly people cooped up in homes, alone, with nothing to do. So he starts getting pretty excitable and says "That's why I'm gonna make a foundation for old people... it's called Mickey Rooney's... Fun Time... Family. We'll have them all over the country! You can come in, play games, talk, do something besides sit in that chair at the retirement home! Mickey Rooney's Fun-Time Family! Where you'll have a family! Where you'll never... have... to be... alone." The audience exploded at this goodwill, and the show continued as usual. From time to time, I thought of tiny, enraged Mickey Rooney, disgusted with the plight of the elderly, at the crime of being ignored and forgotten, and perhaps once every two or three years search for "Mickey Rooney's Fun-Time Family." Once -- once -- I found the words on a web page of his, like in a bulleted list, context-free. Not "coming soon," or "Meet Mickey at this location," anything. Just, like, a list of projects without a due date. I think it may have been miscapitalized. A search today yields no results. I can't help but think that on that show, a decade ago, he made the whole thing up right there out of sheer anger, or just showmanship. And I also wonder if anyone watching that day really looked forward to it, and if they ever thought about what happened to that. Ah well. "No! You're in danger! You don't understand -- the killer is calling from inside your body!!" Has there ever been a better title for a CNN headline than Robot ship racing to death crash on Jupiter ? Forget what I said about that other thing being 'neat.' I should also mention that SpamAssassin just up and stopped working. Dammit. That was a great tool. I wonder if I can fix it. Anyway, I downloaded Thunderbird, that Mozilla client you can train to recognize spam. So far it's not that great, but it's getting progressively better. I feel like an animal trainer, slowly getting results. One day, I'll be able to say "Thunderbird, I trust you, so from now on, delete anything you deem spam instead of moving it into the spam folder where I can check it beforehand." Thunderbird will say "I love you, father." And I'm really busy today. I developed three tools for migration, but somehow two of them didn't end up in the product. This was a year ago, and only now are customers saying "where are they?" It was the result of a warning not going off, there really isn't a reason why they should be missing. So I'm glad it's not my fault, but it's mine to fix. At the same time, it's neat knowing that I'm doing something that two customers need. There was a TV movie on CBS in 1994 that I remember watching, called "Without Warning." It played like a fake newscast, War of the Worlds type of thing. It was about a number of asteroids that hit Earth at various points, and how they were clues that they had been hurled somehow by an extraterrestrial intelligence. Fighters with nuclear weapons stopped two other asteroids, but were lost. Three more asteroids, this time headed for the capitols of the only nations with nuclear power, were also destroyed in a last ditch effort. Finally, as mankind is celebrating the destruction of those asteroids, radar shows a zillion more on their way down to destroy everything. I can still remember the news-report-like music from the titles, and the bumper shots of a blinking eye. This played before Halloween of 1994, and I read that news stations got hundreds of calls, although the fact that it was just a movie was noted before and after after commercial break. I kinda wish this was available somewhere, but it's never been put on video or DVD. I might, might have it on tape SOMEWHERE, but I have no idea. |
