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Archive for June 2003 Anxious as ever. In case you don't read the Chex news, Melissa and I will be in Texas for the next two weeks. I hate flying, I really do. But everything is packed, into a surprisingly small space, and we're leaving tomorrow at 10:15 AM. In fact, I composed* a song for the occasion: I packed my bags last night, pre-flight Zero hour, 10:15 AM A NorthwestAirlinespassenger maaa-aaaa-AAAAA-n * did not compose I don't think I've mentioned it before, but Lotus Notes is absolutely horrible. At least this version. As far as I can tell, it doesn't use any of the Windows API calls, so all the error messages and interface similarities are Lotus'. You also get this half-assed behavior, like tab takes you to the next field, but shift-tab doesn't, or really unwieldy error boxes with a stack of radio buttons, when Yes/No/Cancel would have sufficed if they had worded the question correctly. One time it crashed and it popped up an error message. The message came in a bright red window, no close button, no title bar. Just a bright red splash image type of thing, no way to clear it. Another error I learned very early on, working with Notes. There's a couple instances where there's a mail icon next to a user's name, like the sender or receiver, that goes to their mailbox or calendar. If you're not that user, a lot of times you can get into their mail anyway. EXCEPT Notes pops up an error message to complain, i.e. "you shouldn't be doing this, but I can't stop you." Ridiculous. I thought of it watching TNG with Melissa, where there was the voiceover, and after Picard outlined the routine mission, I added, "we can't stop." That theme of the mundane being considered a hazardous situation came up first in The Underway, me and my brother's answer to a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. Originally I wanted to have a movie where all the exciting parts where in the trailer, and when you saw the movie, with the parts in context, you'd see there was never any danger or excitement. The Underway will probably show up in CN now that I think about it. The Underway is a series of new underground highways being built by the government to combat traffic congestion. An underway is not a very profound concept, but everyone in the film would treat it as a terrifying symbol of man's... something, though it would never be defined. Other than the characters' misgivings and shock at the scope of the Underway, The Underway would have practically no rising and falling action, no major issues, no denouement other than the cautious acceptance of the new underways. But the trailer would make it look like it was a taut thriller. Anyway, I imagine the rest of the episode "Sensors" to be the crew's unease at the prospect of the sensors working a lot more than usual. Plot twist: Worf discovers new readings and finds the Enterprise has also been scanning itself. V.O. (PICARD) Captain's log, stardate 45349.1. The Enterprise has been ordered to the Zagos Cluster, a rare star formation near the Tamarus system. We have been charting the cluster and gathering sensor data. We can't stop. INT. BRIDGE PICARD Mr. Data, disable all ship's long- and short-range sensors on my command. Mark. DATA Science station controls are unresponsive. Switching to manual. (beat) Sir, the sensors seem to be locked in surveying mode. They continue to collect data about the cluster. PICARD Picard to engineering, what the devil is going on down there, Geordi? INT. ENGINEERING LA FORGE Beats me, Captain -- somehow our sensors are caught in some kind of isolinear feedback loop. So far, I haven't been able to stop the scanning. PICARD (comm) Are the sensors scanning for life forms? LA FORGE Life forms, gas density, size, temperature -- you name it, we're probably scanning for it and storing it in the ship's computer. INT. BRIDGE RIKER Is there anything we can do to make the sensors think they've completed the scans? DATA Commander, the sensors are designed only to intake data. Their governing systems do not have a concept of a "completed scan." It does not matter how much we have scanned thus far -- there is always more to scan. RIKER And for whatever reason, the sensors think we want them to scan everything, forever. WORF Sir. There is a particle beam striking the hull, highly concentrated, source unknown. It is penetrating our shields! RIKER Red alert. PICARD Evasive action. WORF The beam contains subspace carrier elements. DATA The beam is also highly organized, and appears to be encrypted and configured to Starfleet long-range communications protocols. I believe we can use our subspace array to analyze it in greater detail. PICARD Make it so. POV - MAIN SCREEN ADMIRAL UVIEL Admiral Uviel here. Jean-Luc, I understand you're having some difficulty with your sensors. PICARD Admiral, it's good to hear from you. It seems that our sensors are locked into some sort of feedback loop, causing us to endlessly scan everything within sensor range. ADMIRAL UVIEL Well, I guess it's a good thing you're out there in the Zagos Cluster. Our scientists will be happy to receive as much sensor information as possible. PICARD I wish I could share your optimism, Admiral. I don't know how much longer the sensors will be able to maintain these scans. ADMIRAL UVIEL Jean-Luc, I understand the problems your crew is having, but unless the ship is in physical danger, you're under orders to finish your mission to survey the cluster before returning to Starbase 355 for repairs. DATA Forgive me, Admiral, but... (beat) it would appear there is no finish. (intro sequence and credits) Some guy in the ELO mailing list was mentioning a crossover of ELO and Doctor Who, and this exchange was brilliant enough that it doesn't matter if Jeff or anyone in particular is uttering it: JEFF: Roll Over Beethoven! DALEK 1 (to BEETHOVEN): DO NOT MOVE! JEFF: Roll Over Beethoven! DALEK 2: DO NOT MOVE OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED! JEFF: Roll Over Beethoven! DALEK 1 (to DALEK 2): BEETHOVEN IS ROLLING OVER! EXTERMINATE! DALEK 2: EXTERMINATE! http://www.best-foods.com/May.asp#May_Flavored This new flavored mayo is almost good enough to use as the sole ingredient in a sandwich. I know a number of my friends don't like mayonnaise, but man! That's a-mayo! |
