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Archive for November 2002 I figured the damn thing out. This is good, because I have other things to do besides rework code that was fine already. I just had a "thing I turned in that was working, but now has a bug, and management needs to know what to tell the customer they're demoing it to next week" moment. I don't care if my stuff has bugs before I turn it in. But once in a while, it works great, I turn it in, and two months later, someone says "I have to show this to so-and-so," and I check it, and it doesn't work right. It's amazing. Okay, I'll be here another half-hour fixing it, not a big deal this time. But I hate having these last-minute panic moments. Gloom and misery, everywhere Stormy weather Just can't seem to get myself together It's raining all the time 1) Flowery prose. I have a respect for those who are trying to be clever in whatever they're doing. Every once in a while, I see a particular sentence I wrote, and maybe there's a pun in there, and I'll lean on the structure a little so as to fit it in. Then I poke you in the tummy and say "whee! Isn't that cute?" I understand the need for that. But I really get tired of endless witticisms. You can tell the difference between "witty" writing and normal writing instantly -- normal writing should sound like I'm talking to you. It should sound like it wasn't premeditated. I don't even have a sentence in mind here as I'm writing it down; I'm clawing toward conveying a point. I shouldn't have to be Dave Barry times eight all the goddamn time. 2) Endless rodomontades. I came upon the word "rodomontade" about six years ago. It means "bragging." I hate bragging. "But Kris, you brag, in jest a lot of the time, sure, but it's still there. Does that excuse you?" I don't know. Maybe it doesn't. But I am doing it in jest, and I can stop (I swear). And I'm fully aware of what I'm saying. Sometimes I'll run across a weblog whose every entry is a loveletter to the author. Even the aside-style entries, like "Going to Julie's house. I'll be around later." No no no, it says "Going to Julie's house in my brand-new Pontiac Firebird. I can't wait to get this thing out on the highway -- vroom! I'll be around later." I don't even think it's a product of a conniving person. Sometimes I think he's just so self-consumed that, hey, this is just a plain old journal entry. I was explaining about my trip to see Julie. That's all. But subconsciously they add all this extra goo. 3) Faux pouting. This should be a subheading for (2). Faux cutesy pouting is employed by girls to get faux sympathy/attention. Example: "Oh, darn. Last night my favorite brassiere bwoke. :( Time to go bra-shopping!" Now what the hell kind of response do you think that's going to get? "I'm sorry?" No! It'll be "Oooh, really! That's racy! I want to hear more about this one!" Just... you know. Get over yourselves. I know I'll try to. We can make the weblogs a better place. I'm crying. It's amazing. SpamAssassin. It knows. It knows what's spam and what isn't -- I don't have to read spam anymore, you guys. I don't have to read it anymore. This is beautiful. It breaks down the spam for you, guys. It tells you what set it off and what score it got. Seriously, you guys. These are tears of joy. I've been having problems with my lower back/kidney lately -- I was expecting kidney stones. They did a catscan, found nothing, suggested it could be muscular. At every point, they find nothing wrong with me. I can only do one thing: assume they're right. Is this psychosomatic? Or perhaps, some kind of muscle tear that I'm making worse with my mind? When it gets bad, it gets bad. - Kurt is sick. - My problem is coming to a head, soon I imagine. - I'm going to a funeral Monday. (p.s. I'll call you today, Mom.) - Adam is stressing over grad school. - I'm afraid I'm taking too much time off from work to take care of this stuff that I can't really help. That one worries me a lot. I will make up the time, somehow, but I feel guilty even taking vacation time which is mine, legally. I will have to talk to my manager about it tomorrow. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound scheduled. On and off here, I've mentioned some illness or infection I've had. I've had it for about a year now, with gaps of "remission" in-between. (It's not cancer.) It's getting vaguely worse, lately. I hate this. Please wish me good luck and good feelings and all that. If you want to. I read about prayer and belief and stuff, and I think there's something to it... In the ELO mailing list, I mentioned that ELO was in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The song Four Little Diamonds is in the game. My post got into the digest version. In addition to the five or six other posts mentioning this discovery, the last one says "Hey, I was playing Vice City the other day -- guess what I heard! ELO! Rock and Roll is King!" Sometimes I wonder if anybody actually listens to ELO in there. Here's my attempt at Tonight's Episoding all of ELO's catalog. Unfortunately, I had to stray in places, since it'd be too easy to replace every noun with "murder." The result makes it sound more like schticky Cryptkeeper stuff than Tonight's Episode. Ones I couldn't manage are marked with an asterisk. Leonard's suggestions are marked with a plus. Submit your suggestions and fixes! I. Electric Died Orchestrangle aka "No Answer (Because They're Dead)" One-Oh-Die-Three-Eight Overture Hook at Me Now Nellie Takes Her Bow (sic) Battle of Murderston Moor Last Movement Mr. Radio (where "Mr." is shorthand for "Murder") Manhattan Rumble (49th St. Murder) Queen of the Cowers Slit Her With the Knife II. ELO II In Old Englund Town Trauma Run Over Beethoven From The Sun To The Worms Kuiama *** III. On the Third Die Ocean Break-In/King of the Unihearse Bluebird was Murdered Oh No Not Susan Too New World Slicing + Mowdown Neckbreaker Ma-Ma-Ma Death Murdering of 4000 In the Hall of the Murder King IV. Murderado Murderado Overture Can't Get It Out of My Back Boy Turning Blue Laredo Torn-Aorta-do Poorboy (The Deadwood) Mister Killingdom Everybody's Dead Killusions in G Major Murderado Murderado Finale V. Face The Music (sic) Fire on Die Murderfall Evil Woman Who's Dead Kniferider Murder Strange Murder Drown Home Town One Summer Scream VI. A Doomed World Record Tight Rope + Telephone Dyin' Shockaria! Mission *** So Murdered Dead Thing Below the Grounds Died Ya Shangri-laceration VII. Out of the Blue Turn to Bone Life's Over Sweet Stalkin' Woman Across the Border *** Knife in the City Starlight *** Strangle Berieve Me Now Stabbin' Out + Standin' in the Pain + Big Wheels *** Summer and Frightening + Mr. Blue Die Sweet is the Knife The Pale Murdering-'im Blues Defiled West Hero VIII. Deathscovery Shine a Little Death Contusion Bleed Her Love The Diary of Horace Whip + Last Rites To London Midnight Black and Blue + On The Run *** Wishing *** Don't Bring Me Dead ?. Xanadie I'm Dead The Fallen All Under the World Don't Rot Away Xanadie IX. Time *** Prologue *** Twilight *** Yours Deadly, 2095 Ticket to the Moon *** The Way Knife's Bent in Me Another Heart Stops Rain is Falling *** From the End of Your Life The Deaths Die Murdered Here is the Murder 21st Century Death Hold On Tight *** Epimorgue + X. Secret Murders Secret Murders Loser Gone Dead Bluebird's Corpse Take Me On and On *** Four Little Murders Strangler Murder Ahead Bloodletter From Spain Train of Death Rock and Roll is Dead XI. Balance of Murder Murder Only Knows So Fear-ious Getting to the Gunpoint Secret Deaths Is It All Fright + Sorrow About to Die Rub Out Someone Killing America Endless Dies Murder It XII. Tomb All Fright (he had to use "alright" twice, oh well) Moment in Scare-adise State of Murder Dust for Love Stranger in the Quiet Street In My Bone Time Easy Murder It Really Does Murder Ordinary Scream A Long Time Dead Maiming in the Sun All She Haunted Bonesome Skullaby Wrong Black Road |
