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Archive for October 2002  Melissa's mom made the suit, it's awesome. The wig is a flame hair wig, spray-painted lavender blue, although here it looks more blue than it is. They're not in the camera, but I'm also wearing checkerboard Vans. This -- Melissa's -- idea was so cool it's not even funny, so stop laughing.  Last place I haven't posted that. Anyway, my costume is pretty cool. I'll post pictures late tonight or tomorrow of the secret surprise costume!! I should have had people guess for a prize. Here's the breakdown of visitors to this site: 31.78% Network 29.82% US Commercial 13.09% US Educational 2.89% Australia 2.80% Canada 2.35% United Kingdom 0.51% Netherlands 0.35% Non-Profit Organization 0.42% France 0.26% US Military 0.45% Finland 0.24% Denmark 0.29% Norway 0.30% New Zealand (Aotearoa) 0.25% Japan 0.25% Belgium 0.19% Sweden 0.08% Spain 0.17% US Government 0.11% Austria 0.10% Israel 0.06% Christmas Island 0.12% Greece 0.07% Italy 0.06% Brazil 0.07% Germany 0.03% Ireland 0.06% Singapore A big hello to Christmas Island! Back when Kurt was too young to remember or make decisions, Mom and Dad used to take us both to Surf City. I didn't like Surf City at all, but my parents were crazy about it for some reason. The conversations went like this: "Come on, we're going to Surf City. Gonna have some fun." "But -- " "We're going to Surf City. It's two to one." The preceding was fabricated. "I felt so terrible when I heard about Sushi ... I just cried my eyes out (sorry) for hours and hours. Then I started to wonder ... is that all there is? Is that all that life has to offer? I thought about that fish and then ... I thought about my knife ... how quickly this all this pain and suffering could be ended ... and then I thought about the other fish in the refrigerator. I feel better now. To hell with fish. Get a cat." You never loved me! Or Sashimi! I mean -- San... what was its name? Sushi. Right. That fish is my best friend. My smallest, youngest, pink fish, Sushi, has pop-eye, an infection behind the left eye, in addition to a sentence with a lot, of commas. I don't know what's gonna happen. His eye is all puffed up to the size of... well, it's still small. But, on a human, the equivalent would be if your eye one morning was a softball. I gave him antibiotic and fish healing stuff... Apparently, 2.45% of those searching for the following request wound up at my site: "naked gay men wearing suits and ties" So... naked and dressed is probably pretty hard to come by. And I am a happy person... As I once suggested to Leonard, "Butt Town" would be a good porn site name. But it's pretty crass. I'm envisioning a sprawling urban nightmare, involving butts. Business would be bad. Or good, I dunno. But a far classier name sprung to mind this morning, and upon Googling it, I found it was a Googlewhack, but not one such that you couldn't still use the name for your adult entertainment endeavor. nff-fpncrf Melissa bought Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 some time ago. I never thought I would like a skateboarding game. I don't care about skateboarding at all. Seeing video clips of real skating confirms this. But the game is awesome! The best part of any game to me is customizing the characters. I made me, Melissa, Kurt and Jeff Lynne, who I've been playing with. Bear in mind that (1) these images aren't very clear, and (2) you can't upload any real pictures of faces, etc. to the game, which is what I'd normally do. You have to use the stock faces, beards, etc. Despite that, the Kurt one is uncanny:   Jeff can really grind. Poor Jeff. The song is absolute crap. I know exactly what he was doing -- knocking around a tune with some thrown-together lyrics. It sounds completed, but it's pretty sparse, and the vocals are so far up front, it's very unlike him. Yeah, he never intended for this to get out. I still don't like flying. The flight from LAX to Chicago was okay, but once I got there, I realized I had about 25 minutes to get to the next flight. I got on board like 5 minutes before it left. Chicago's security was a lot tighter than LAX's. Had to take off my shoes and practically remove my pants. I guess I felt safer, but I almost missed the plane. I blame DS for that one. 30 minutes between flights, tops?? I'm also running on about two hours of sleep, since I was so anxious about flying. It isn't fun, for sure, but I haven't taken any sedatives. Can't sleep with the engine noise anyway. Fun facts about Charlotte: - Any kind of soda is called a "coke." For example, you'd go to a coke machine to buy some cokes, such as Sprite, Dr. Pepper and Pepsi. - Carl's Jr. is exactly the same, except it's called Hardee's. - Best Foods is exactly the same, except it's called Hellmann's. More plane fun! Well, it seems that there was a storm in Chicago that closed all but two of their runways. That delayed us by an hour -- also the plane's aux power was out, so there was no A/C on the plane until takeoff. I am seated next to an Egyptian man and his two- or three-year-old son who's screaming the bloodiest murder imaginable for his mother. (Mom is in Frankfurt, 15 hours away.) Lucky me. Finally it was our turn to go. Oh, wait! That's right, the No. 2 engine wouldn't start, so they were waiting to talk to mechanics in San Francisco. I guess they were helpful guys, except they couldn't try the fix, since A PLANE was BEHIND US AND WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THEM TO MOVE. All told, I'm pretty pleased to be on a plane, at night, with a non-functional ground battery and a problematic right engine. Let's fly the friendly skies. All that aside, I'll hopefully be rolling into Chicago about... 8, your time. I'm tired and I just had a shot of whiskey, so forgive my writing if it fails. I'm starting to feel it. I may have another if they'll let me. God, I wonder if there will be a flight to LAX when I get there. Hmmmm... there's this girl across the aisle who is staring at me. I wonder if it's because I'm Arab... nah. What ethnicity DO I look like to other people? Bah, now I'm just rambling.. ======= Same exact $#!+ at O'Hare as last time. I got out from Charlotte at Gate C-something. The last flight is at B-something, so I hustle down there. It's far and I run. On the way, I see listings for two other LA flights. Once I get to B-something, I find nobody there, not even attendents. The whole gate is shut down. A look at the listing shows it's gone. One flight left though: at Gate F#@&ing C-something-else. And I have twenty minutes to get a ticket, go through security and board. And, that's the last one for the damn night. I am miserable. When I got to the gate, of two clerks, one was apparently permanently on the phone. The other was hung up with some Asian woman who spoke little English and is one of those people who go some place away from home and assume everything is completely different and backwards. Anyway. somehow I get the guy's ear and get a ticket, go through the adjacent security lite, and get on. So here I am, on hour 17 of 21 tonight. I might sleep, I might not. I hate O'Hare forever. Oh no, I insulted Ellen Feiss! Anyway, it looks like ellenfeiss.net picked up my ad from one of the mirrors, but apparently had no idea where the parody came from and linked that mirror. Help me out, and that mirror out -- write the webmaster at ellenfeiss.net and tell him to fix the link on his front page: - The name is Kristofer Straub, not Christopher Straut (but nice try) - The link should point at http://www.nightlightpress.com/switch. The mirror site it currently points to will probably get hammered by ellenfeiss.net, and that's not my intent. I wrote them, but they're probably real busy. Another e-mail with the same corrections might light a fire under them. I don't want that mirror's site to go down because of a hard link by ellenfeiss.net, when he was just doing me a favor -- write them! Also, I'm still in NC. I have time to write you this message because they haven't had anything for me to do for 2.5 hours. Come on, 5:00... The presentation went well. I got up at 7:00 today, which is 4:00 AM to me. Tomorrow is going to be impossibly long. First, I wake up at 7:00 again, attend eight hours of tutorials, get on the plane two hours later -- I'll have checked out of the hotel, so I'll just spend the two hours at the airport -- and spend the next six hours on planes to get to LAX at 11:30. 7:00 to 7:00 is twelve hours, plus six on the plane is eighteen hours, and home at 11:30. That's like... a 29-hours day. Er, I dunno, you work it out. I still don't like flying. The flight from LAX to Chicago was okay, but once I got there, I realized I had about 25 minutes to check in, go through security, and get on the next flight. I almost missed it. Their security is a lot more thorough than LAX's -- I practically had to disrobe. I guess that's a good thing, but I almost missed the plane. I don't know why the travel agent booked a flight so soon after the other one. They were at opposite ends of the airport. I'm also running on two hours of sleep, since I was so anxious about flying. I couldn't sleep on the planes. Anyway, Charlotte is full of trees that sometimes have houses between them, unlike the vice versa situation in California. I never saw so many trees, right in the city. Also, a very floppy-looking lake with lots of peninsulas and tiny islands. It's also hot in here. I'll take off all my clothes. But in reality, I will go eat, and then go to bed, probably. It's hard to believe it's only 4:30 at home right now. Luckily, I'm as tired as Maxim's caption writers (but nowhere near as depressed). Later! I'm-a be in North Carolina until very late Friday -- as it is, I'm going to get four hours of sleep. It's okay, it'll force me to sleep on the plane. I have internet access and will post updates! See you tomorrow. |
